Trust is the glue

TRUST

To excel in any areas of life , faith,family, finance,fitness, freedom,following,fun,friendship, there must be trust. Tim Marks my personal mentor says “people only do activities with  the people they trust and like. ” Stephen Covey says “there is nothing as fast as the speed of trust.”  Its faster than anything you can think about, faster than the computer or the internet, for when trust is present, mistakes are forgiven and forgotten. TRUST IS THE GLUE OF LIFE.  

My wife and I just spent 7 days in Florida with some great friends we trust and during that time we were never worried about who paid for what or what they would or wouldn’t do around our kids. We knew they had our best interests at heart and we had theirs.  High trust relationships are easy and effortless, where as low trust relationships are difficult and stressful.

How People  break your  Trust

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to understand the magnitude of trust . Many nights are spent in agony over broken trust.

  1. Have you ever had a broken heart over trust being lost in a marriage?
  2. Has a pastor or someone at the church caused you to lose trust in that church or even in God?  as a side note… NEVER NEVER judge a perfect  God by imperfect men
  3. Have you ever been lied to when buying a house or a car?
  4. Did you find out that your business partners have been stealing from the company?
  5. Is there anyone you thought was your friend and then you heard they were talking about you?
  6. Have you ever thought your new job was gonna be one way and ended up being another
  7. Has anyone ever looked into your eyes and lied to your face?

How we break trust

It is extremely easy to look at broken trust from the offended side but lets also do it from us being the offender. Being untrustworthy is not just something they do it is something we do.  This exercise is very difficult to do because it takes great pains to look at self but lets ask ourselves a few questions as well.

  1. Have we ever told a little lie or just maybe stretched the truth to make us look better?
  2. Is there ever a time when you were not happy with a friend/bus partner/family member and instead of talking with them about it like Mathew 18 says, we just end up telling someone else. “just wanting to get off our chest” lol  aka GOSSIP
  3. Have you ever made a promise to anyone and didn’t keep it?  Promise making is one of the easiest things you could ever do and promise keeping is one of the most difficult.
  4. Have you ever written anything online without stating who exactly wrote it? Many things written online by faceless men cannot be trusted because trustworthy men have no need to remain anonymous unless there is partial truths being told. Charles Spurgeon wrote “a lie can travel around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes”
  5. Have you ever hid from creditors/family members/bus partners/church family because you thought by hiding you wouldn’t have to handle it.

When I was in school we had a big exam for algebra and I had a teacher that scared me to death.  He wasn’t mean, he just expected alot and didn’t pull any punches, which at that time in my life. scared me. The day of the exam that I hadn’t studied for, I… instead of showing up getting an F i just called in sick to school.  The next day back at school I was sheepish as I walked by that teacher and he could tell, sooo he stopped me and stated in a stern voice “NEWTON” if you would just study, you wouldn’t have to fake being sick”   HIDING is an UNTRUSTWORTHY ACT

Now,  I hope after asking all those questions to ourselves, we can see where ALL of us can work on this foundation to success in those 8 areas of FAITH-FAMILY-FINANCE-FITNESS-FRIENDSHIP-FREEDOM-FUN-FOLLOWING

“Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living, it is the beginning place, the foundation on which more can be built. Where trust is- love can flourish”  Barbara Smith

                                                      

People trust those who add value into there life with more deposits of selflessness than withdrawals of selfishness

Stephen Coveys “Emotional Bank Account” for Trust

Deposits-

  1. Seek first to understand
  2. keep promises
  3. honesty and openness
  4. kindness courtesies
  5. win win or no deal
  6. clarified expectations
  7. loyalty the absent
  8. apologies
  9. receiving feedback and giving “I” messaging
  10. forgiveness

Withdrawals

  1. Seek first to be understood
  2. break promises
  3. smooth manipulation
  4. unkindness, discourtesies
  5. win-lose
  6. violating expectations
  7. disloyalty
  8. pride, conceit, arrogance
  9. not receiving feedback and giving “you” messages
  10. holding grudges

Stephen Covey goes on to  say there our 3 common characteristics of the Deposits that we can learn from

  1. it will take initiative
  2. it will take an absence of selfishness and a presence of humility
  3. it will require sacrifice

There is much freedom in a disciplined life and if we are ready to be disciplined in any area being trustworthy is a great beginning spot.  I would like to thank Bill Newton and Jann Newton,  for being people of character that i can trust so i could see a wonderful example of this amazing principle.

god bless

cody

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“You cannot change Truth, but Truth can change you” MFC

“Methods are many,principles are few.methods always change,principles never do” is a quote I will never forget hearing at a conference I attended at 19 years old.  There is only one Truth for salvation and that is Jesus Christ and that Truth can be learned about by the infallible word of God , the Bible.  All good principles in day-to-day living also have their roots in the bible as well.  Fortunately for the last 4 years I was given the chance to learn about many principles that have changed my LIFE and  I thought today I would give a few ideas on resources for books etc that can help with great principles on topics such as character, purpose, attitude, programming, gameplanning,keeping score, family, friendship, financial management, leadership, conflict resolution, systems thinking,anxiety, depression, forgiveness, handling adversity, and legacy. These are some of my favorites for sure. Orrin Woodwards book “Resolved” has been the most influential on principles for me and Tim Marks book “Voyage of a Viking” is a biography I will never forget.    If anyone has any other great resources for great principles feel free to comment. god bless

 

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I also “of course” recommend the 90 Day Mental Fitness Challenge for a chance to have someone to be accountable to for growth!   www.90daymentalfitchallenge.com/

Your second, second and the second mile

Many audios about leadership have affected my journey to date but very few have impacted me as much as Chris Brady’s “second, second.”  In the cd Chris Brady goes over having your first waking second feeling great and your second, second having the burdens of life coming into your mind.  He says Freedom in life  is when your 2nd second is as good as your first.  There is many ways to help with that second, second and today I just want to go over one way, and that is the understanding in Life you will have  to go that extra mile that you didn’t expect.  SOO Expect IT. so that we do not have to fret about it in your second, second

It wasn’t uncommon for the Roman soldiers during Jesus’s time to oppress the Jews and  have the Jews carry heavy loads for miles.  Jesus came and said “if a man compel you to go a mile, go two miles”   There is in the statement a thought pattern to master the situation by being prepared to do more than expected and to not get weary in good work.  It creates an abundant  willingness to go further, work harder than expected. Aubrey Andelin says “going the second mile is a way a man lightens his burdens and learns to enjoy his responsibility. A half-hearted effort nets nothing in satisfaction. As one devotes himself to his God, his family, his work , going beyond the call of duty to be completely responsible as possible, he experiences satisfying fulfillment”.          IN his Second Second.

If you are successful in your endeavors the first mile,  thank God, but for the rest of us “MERE MORTALS” lets expect to go  TWO.   God Bless         Devoted

cody

When Fishermen Don’t Fish

The New Year is among us and I would love to wish everyone a Happy New Year!  I woke up this morning ready to “get stuff happenin”   The nervous tension inside was from an intense desire to perform and you can choose to use that tension to fuel self or Pound others . It seems in preparing to lead we sometimes end up hurting ourselves or others because of our own performance issues.   Max Lucado says this ” When those who are called upon to fish dont fish, they fight.  When energy intended to be used outside is used inside, the result is explosive.  Instead of casting nets, we cast stones.  Instead of extending our helping hands, we point accusing fingers”   In my leadership journey I know I have been the most explosive when I have actually not been proud of what I am doing. One of the greatest ways to know if we are truly others focused is to find out the root cause of our disappointments, Is it really about the situation or is IT Really about my own lack of performance? Shifting the blame of discouragement is the easy way out and the lesson will not be learned but internalizing and asking yourself what is the source of my internal battle is what real leaders do.  Tim Marks has worked with me since first mentoring with him too keep looking inside self to become a better leader  instead of outside self.

Lucado says in Chapter 3 ” Leave soldiers inside the barracks with no time on the front line and see what happens to their attitude. The soldiers will invent things to complain about. Bunks will be too hard. Food will be too cold. Leadership will be too tough. The Company will be too Stale.  Yet put those same soldiers in the trench ducking  bullets., and what was a boring barracks will seem like a haven. The beds will feel great. The food will be almost ideal. The leadership will be courageous. The company will be exciting.  When Those who are called to fish, fish— they flourish!  If you are called to Fish “lead” and you Fish then  2012 will be your  year and I cannot wait to hear your story! God Bless cody

    

Help me choose a Caption..

In Life it takes guts to lead and grow to become better and  you end up separating  yourself from the crowd and many think you are crazy.  The ones who fight  long enough to change will eventually win. Orrin Woodward says “those who stay will be champions”   Write a caption for this courageous boy. I sometimes feel this way!       MerryChristmas

“Winning Aint Easy and Losing Aint Fun”

 

    Orrin Woodward is always quoting Malcolm Gladwell in the LIFE Leadership cds and talking about it taking 10,000 hrs in any profession to start mastering it. So if you are looking for easy than winning isn’t for you cause there is nothing easy about mastering anything. I remember when I started my concrete business, it would take hours just to set up a simple driveway and I and my partner would be super frustrated. After years in the business we could do it in just 30 min and it looked better than the 6 hrs it took at the beginning.  When I started community building it was more of an inside job and it took longer to begin the mastery but worth more in the long run. Id suggest reading this article at least the advice to young entrepreneurs.. Today I am still learning, growing and changing to continue the mastering cause losing aint fun.   god bless cody

Kiplinger.com   RAGS TO RICHES
by Andrea N. Browne, John Miley, Susannah Snider and Michael Stratford

Catherine L. Hughes

 

Courtesy of Radio OneCourtesy of Radio One

 

Age: 64

Occupation: Founder and chairperson, Radio One

Advice to young entrepreneurs: “Sometimes the ones who love you the most will give you the worst business advice.”

By conventional standards, Hughes wasn’t destined to build a successful multimillion-dollar media company. She was a teen mom by 16 and a high-school dropout. However, she later completed high school, followed by brief stints at area universities in her hometown of Omaha, Neb.

Despite her limited formal education, Hughes, who credits publishing legend John H. Johnson as one of her mentors, worked her way up at Omaha’s KOWH radio starting in 1969 before heading to the nation’s capital to become a lecturer at Howard University. In 1975, she became general manager for the university’s radio station, WHUR-FM. By 1979, she bought her first radio station, WOL-AM in D.C., with her then-husband and founded Radio One a year later.

Those early years were rough. Hughes, who was divorced by then, slept with her son on the floor of her radio station because she couldn’t afford to live anywhere else. “My mother tried her best to talk me out of the radio business because of that,” Hughes recalls. It’s for this reason that she advises young entrepreneurs to be wary about who they divulge their challenges to — even family. “If I had listened [to my mother], I would be a government employee right now and there would be no Radio One.”

Thirty-two years later, in addition to the radio company, Hughes’ empire includes her television network TV One and several interactive ventures, including NewsOne.com and HelloBeautiful.com. Her charitable efforts include serving as a board member and the main benefactor for the Piney Woods School, a boarding school located in Piney Woods, Miss., that serves students from financially strapped families.

Bert Jacobs

Courtesy of Life is goodCourtesy of Life Is Good

 

Age: 46

Occupation: Co-Founder and CEO, Life is good

Advice to young entrepreneurs: “Try to shoot for a timeless business.”

You’ve probably seen the beret-wearing, smiling face of “Jake,” the Life is good logo, on the company’s tee shirts and products. Co-founders Bert Jacobs and his brother, John Jacobs, 43, started peddling their tee shirts on the streets of Boston — going door-to-door at college dorms and sleeping in their van to save money — in 1989. It would take nearly six years, however, before their shirts finally caught on with consumers, thanks to “Jake.”

The logo, which is infused with optimism, was created after a conversation about how the world was slammed with constant negativity. It became an instant hit. Now, the New England-based company has revenues in excess of $100 million, and each year more of it goes toward their charity, Life is good Kids Foundation, which helps children overcome life-threatening challenges.

“In the beginning, we made every business mistake in the book,” says Bert. The brothers didn’t have a business plan or growth strategy — a formula for disaster, if you go by what’s taught in business school. Bert credits part of their success to listening to their friends and customers as informal focus groups, rather than “experts.” He advises budding entrepreneurs to: “Try to shoot for a timeless business that will work through good times and bad.”

Ali Brown

Courtesy of Ali BrownCourtesy of Ali Brown

 

Age: 40

Occupation: Entrepreneur, business consultant and publisher,AliBrown.com

Advice to young entrepreneurs: “It’s important you seek out other business owners for information, advice, support and resources.”

Fed up with her dead-end job at a New York City ad agency, Brown decided to quit in 1998. Armed with her brother’s hand-me-down computer, she launched her first marketing agency, AKB Communications, from her kitchen table.

While having her own business was exciting, the uncertainty of self-employment had its challenges. Brown remembers all too well maxing out credit cards and draining her bank account to stay afloat in the early days. One night in particular, she tried to withdraw $20 from an ATM but was denied because her balance was only $18.56. Thirteen years later, thanks to her hard work and perseverance, Brown has achieved many successes: She earned her first million before the age of 35 and has appeared on ABC’s reality show “Secret Millionaire,” where she donated money to several organizations. She still actively supports three of them.

When it comes down to deciding if entrepreneurship is the right move for you, Brown says, “Entrepreneurship isn’t for everyone. Every definition of entrepreneur I’ve found includes the word ‘risk’.” For those who are willing to take the leap of faith, she advises: “It’s important that you seek out other business owners for information, advice, support and resources. Today, would-be entrepreneurs have the Internet and social media, and it’s a great place to get started learning more about how to grow a business.”

Jill Blashack Strahan

Courtesy of Jill Blashack StrahanCourtesy of Jill Blashack Strahan

 

Age: 52

Occupation: Founder and CEO, Tastefully Simple

Advice to young entrepreneurs: “Having goals is absolutely critical.”

For Strahan, starting her multimillion-dollar company, Tastefully Simple, a direct sales retailer of specialty food products, began with “a dream and a shoestring.” She grew up on a dairy farm in Minnesota and later started selling gourmet food baskets, which inspired her business.

In the beginning, the entrepreneur fed her fledgling company with $6,000 of her own savings and some loans from a friend and the Small Business Administration. Strahan’s first headquarters was a 1,200-square-foot space with a concrete floor and no running water. Early orders were packed on a pool table. Today, the Tastefully Simple offices take up nearly 200,000 square feet on a 79-acre lot.

In addition to running a company that’s valued at more than $100 million, Strahan finds time to give back to the community. Tastefully Simple has donated more than $5 million to local causes, and in 2009 teamed up with Share Our Strength, a group that seeks to end childhood hunger in America. If you’re an entrepreneur with a good idea, she says to remember that there isn’t an easy road to building a profitable business: “The secret to success doesn’t involve pixie dust or a magic bullet. Having goals is absolutely critical.”

Farrah Gray

Courtesy of Farrah Gray PublishingCourtesy of Farrah Gray Publishing

 

Age: 27

Occupation: Founder and CEO, Farrah Gray Publishing

Advice to young entrepreneurs: “Keep your business small . . . niche yourself.”

When most 6-year-olds were worried about what time their favorite cartoon came on TV, Gray was already an entrepreneur. He was going door-to-door in his inner-city Chicago neighborhood selling hand-painted rocks as bookends to help his ailing mother make ends meet. “I can remember being very young and my mom having a heart attack. I wondered how we were going to pay the bills and thought to myself, ‘I don’t want to be poor like this anymore,'” he recalls.

Trying to figure out a way to improve his family’s home life sparked something big: By the time he was 17, Gray had founded and operated several businesses, including Kidztel, a prepaid phone card company, and Farr-Out Foods, a food company targeting young adults, which grossed $1.5 million in sales before he sold it. At 20, his first book, “Reallionaire: Nine Steps to Becoming Rich Inside and Out,” was published.

Now, Gray’s focused on his latest venture, Farrah Gray Publishing, a boutique celebrity book publishing house he started in 2009, which includes titles such as “Transparent” by CNN’s Don Lemon. Gray also spends his time contributing to charitable organizations, such as the National Coalition for the Homeless and the National Marrow Donor Program. For anyone considering starting a new business, he suggests keeping things small: “A lot of times we get caught up in trying to be the next Facebook or Apple. That isn’t necessary — niche yourself.”

Jesse Conners

Courtesy of FirednFabulous/YouTubeCourtesy of FirednFabulous/YouTube

 

Age: 28

Occupation: CEO and founder, PeppermintPark.com

Advice to young entrepreneurs: “There is constantly some fire that you have to put out . . . Don’t let it discourage you.”

Conners had an unusual childhood: When she was 9, her parents joined a cult and — believing that the world was about to end — sold all of their worldly possessions. From then until she was 18, Conners traveled across the U.S. and to Mexico with her family, following the cult’s message and searching for work along the way. As unconventional as it was, she says her upbringing spurred the independence she needed to succeed in business.

While in high school, she started doing the marketing for her father’s chiropractor practice, which eventually led to a job in real estate. At 21, she auditioned for and was cast in the first season of NBC’s “The Apprentice.” Although Conners didn’t win, her stint on national television landed her a job on the real estate speaking circuit. In 2008, she began building PeppermintPark.com, a membership-based fashion and luxury brand online retailer. The Web site has been up and running for a little over a year and has a ten-person staff.

Earlier this year, Conners’s “outside the box” approach to business helped her to surpass a $1 million net worth. In addition to running her company, she has offered charitable support to Elephant Human Relations Aid and provides resources to women who are victims of domestic abuse, according to her Web site. Conners advises budding entrepreneurs to be aware that daily obstacles are the norm, not the exception. “There is constantly some fire that you have to put out. That’s what running a business is all about,” Conners says. “Don’t let it discourage you. Try again, start again.”

More from Kiplinger.com:

The Hidden “F” – Thank’F’ulness

LIFE is here and changing lives and there is no one I have personally seen change more than Kris. He is a great friend and leader  fighting for truth. God Bless and have a great Thanksgiving

Cody
thankful_prayer

The Hidden “F” – Thank’F’ulness

By Kris White

The week of Thanksgiving tends to cause one to reflect.  The upcoming holiday season is filled with great excitement and anticipation, but for what?  Has Black Friday, Grandma’s mashed potatoes, peanut-butter balls and Christmas lists completely overshadowed the true spirit of the season?  In many ways it has.  Not that it’s all bad.  (Take a bite of Grandma’s mashed potatoes and gravy and I think you’ll agree.)  However, let us never take for granted those things in life that truly matter.  A proper perspective must accompany these traditions lest we forget our true joys.  This year let us remember to give thanks each and every day for our many blessings.  We all fall short when acknowledging the grace that God extends to us.  Nevertheless, be thankful.  Paul says in 1 Thessalonians 5:18, “in everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus”.  Notice Paul says, “in everything give thanks”.  Through our challenges, fears, joys and victories, be thankful.  Each experience is designed for a special purpose.  We must learn to recognize these experiences as gifts and use them to become the man or woman God designed us to be.

That being said, I’d like to extend a special thanks to Cody and Tara Newton and Bill & Jann Newton for the direction they’ve led TEAM VIP over the last few years.  The courage and perseverance to follow right principles, under all circumstance, has provided a platform for thousands to pursue and fulfill their God-inspired purpose.  We are blessed to be a part of this LIFE business.

It’s a good LIFE, so let us give thanks.  And, oh, by the way, please pass the mashed potatoes.