Trust is the glue

TRUST

To excel in any areas of life , faith,family, finance,fitness, freedom,following,fun,friendship, there must be trust. Tim Marks my personal mentor says “people only do activities with  the people they trust and like. ” Stephen Covey says “there is nothing as fast as the speed of trust.”  Its faster than anything you can think about, faster than the computer or the internet, for when trust is present, mistakes are forgiven and forgotten. TRUST IS THE GLUE OF LIFE.  

My wife and I just spent 7 days in Florida with some great friends we trust and during that time we were never worried about who paid for what or what they would or wouldn’t do around our kids. We knew they had our best interests at heart and we had theirs.  High trust relationships are easy and effortless, where as low trust relationships are difficult and stressful.

How People  break your  Trust

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to understand the magnitude of trust . Many nights are spent in agony over broken trust.

  1. Have you ever had a broken heart over trust being lost in a marriage?
  2. Has a pastor or someone at the church caused you to lose trust in that church or even in God?  as a side note… NEVER NEVER judge a perfect  God by imperfect men
  3. Have you ever been lied to when buying a house or a car?
  4. Did you find out that your business partners have been stealing from the company?
  5. Is there anyone you thought was your friend and then you heard they were talking about you?
  6. Have you ever thought your new job was gonna be one way and ended up being another
  7. Has anyone ever looked into your eyes and lied to your face?

How we break trust

It is extremely easy to look at broken trust from the offended side but lets also do it from us being the offender. Being untrustworthy is not just something they do it is something we do.  This exercise is very difficult to do because it takes great pains to look at self but lets ask ourselves a few questions as well.

  1. Have we ever told a little lie or just maybe stretched the truth to make us look better?
  2. Is there ever a time when you were not happy with a friend/bus partner/family member and instead of talking with them about it like Mathew 18 says, we just end up telling someone else. “just wanting to get off our chest” lol  aka GOSSIP
  3. Have you ever made a promise to anyone and didn’t keep it?  Promise making is one of the easiest things you could ever do and promise keeping is one of the most difficult.
  4. Have you ever written anything online without stating who exactly wrote it? Many things written online by faceless men cannot be trusted because trustworthy men have no need to remain anonymous unless there is partial truths being told. Charles Spurgeon wrote “a lie can travel around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes”
  5. Have you ever hid from creditors/family members/bus partners/church family because you thought by hiding you wouldn’t have to handle it.

When I was in school we had a big exam for algebra and I had a teacher that scared me to death.  He wasn’t mean, he just expected alot and didn’t pull any punches, which at that time in my life. scared me. The day of the exam that I hadn’t studied for, I… instead of showing up getting an F i just called in sick to school.  The next day back at school I was sheepish as I walked by that teacher and he could tell, sooo he stopped me and stated in a stern voice “NEWTON” if you would just study, you wouldn’t have to fake being sick”   HIDING is an UNTRUSTWORTHY ACT

Now,  I hope after asking all those questions to ourselves, we can see where ALL of us can work on this foundation to success in those 8 areas of FAITH-FAMILY-FINANCE-FITNESS-FRIENDSHIP-FREEDOM-FUN-FOLLOWING

“Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living, it is the beginning place, the foundation on which more can be built. Where trust is- love can flourish”  Barbara Smith

                                                      

People trust those who add value into there life with more deposits of selflessness than withdrawals of selfishness

Stephen Coveys “Emotional Bank Account” for Trust

Deposits-

  1. Seek first to understand
  2. keep promises
  3. honesty and openness
  4. kindness courtesies
  5. win win or no deal
  6. clarified expectations
  7. loyalty the absent
  8. apologies
  9. receiving feedback and giving “I” messaging
  10. forgiveness

Withdrawals

  1. Seek first to be understood
  2. break promises
  3. smooth manipulation
  4. unkindness, discourtesies
  5. win-lose
  6. violating expectations
  7. disloyalty
  8. pride, conceit, arrogance
  9. not receiving feedback and giving “you” messages
  10. holding grudges

Stephen Covey goes on to  say there our 3 common characteristics of the Deposits that we can learn from

  1. it will take initiative
  2. it will take an absence of selfishness and a presence of humility
  3. it will require sacrifice

There is much freedom in a disciplined life and if we are ready to be disciplined in any area being trustworthy is a great beginning spot.  I would like to thank Bill Newton and Jann Newton,  for being people of character that i can trust so i could see a wonderful example of this amazing principle.

god bless

cody

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About Cody Newton
I'm happily married with 5 kiddos. Thankful to God for changing my life and revealing where I can be better. Love spending time with family, at church, doing business, laughing, fishing, hunting, boating and about anything outdoors.

12 Responses to Trust is the glue

  1. Great post and seminar this weekend. Best talk you have ever done! Thank you for being someone I can trust!

    Clayton

  2. Clint Fix says:

    Thanks for sharing, Cody. It’s easy to take trust for granted and forget to intentionally build trust by doing the things you listed. Thanks for the reminder!

    Also, even though I know it wasn’t your main point of the post, I really like this, “NEVER NEVER judge a perfect God by imperfect men”.

  3. Diann Schultz says:

    Your seminar this weekend about trust was excellent! I was challenged with your point that trust takes initiative. I ditto Clayton: thanks to you and Tara for being people we can trust! .

    Diann
    Team VIP Phalanx

  4. Jess Pykiet says:

    You and Tara did such a great job this weekend!! Everyone was blown away by how a young couple could be so wise. Thanks for recapping these awesome points.

  5. Sometimes we don’t see how “small” things we do are really indicators of a character fault. Thanks for yours and Tara’s exhibition of high character which leads to high trust. Thanks for “shining a light” on trust and ones behaviors.

    You and Tara did a great job communicating this last weekend at the March Leadership Seminar. You communicated principles with passion, enthusiasm and clarity.

  6. Hans Widener says:

    Great post Cody and great job on Saturday. I heard many remark that they can’t wait until this Trust talk comes down on CD. You were one of the people I wrote down that I could trust 100%. Elly and I are grateful for you and Tara. God bless.

    Hans

  7. Rochelle Nelson says:

    You and Tara were both amazing Saturday! The talk and this blog are SO right on with where I am at! I too, can hardly wait for this to come out on CD so I can listen over and over.

  8. Adam Jefferis says:

    This was a great topic at a very important time in my life. Like many people, I have been on both sides of the trust factor, the offender and the offended. Both sides are unpleasant. The past year I have learned how to manage being the “offended” and to never be the “offender” again. I have bragged to many people about this talk. Glad to see it posted! Thank you

  9. Cody Moyer says:

    Incredible info Cody!

  10. Larry Stanton says:

    A person is blessed to have a couple of people in their life that they can truely trust. What a gift to be around a culture of leadership that not only promotes trust but leads by example. Thank you

  11. pappabiggs says:

    It helps to re-read great posts like this. Now, to go to work on myself, instead of others!

    • Larry Stanton says:

      Every time you see and read the truth something else appears that you did not see the first time. Some time I believe we are not allowed to see everything at one time. Thank you for the culture that nurtures and allows a person to realize that.

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