Trust is the glue

TRUST

To excel in any areas of life , faith,family, finance,fitness, freedom,following,fun,friendship, there must be trust. Tim Marks my personal mentor says “people only do activities with  the people they trust and like. ” Stephen Covey says “there is nothing as fast as the speed of trust.”  Its faster than anything you can think about, faster than the computer or the internet, for when trust is present, mistakes are forgiven and forgotten. TRUST IS THE GLUE OF LIFE.  

My wife and I just spent 7 days in Florida with some great friends we trust and during that time we were never worried about who paid for what or what they would or wouldn’t do around our kids. We knew they had our best interests at heart and we had theirs.  High trust relationships are easy and effortless, where as low trust relationships are difficult and stressful.

How People  break your  Trust

Here are a few questions to ask yourself to understand the magnitude of trust . Many nights are spent in agony over broken trust.

  1. Have you ever had a broken heart over trust being lost in a marriage?
  2. Has a pastor or someone at the church caused you to lose trust in that church or even in God?  as a side note… NEVER NEVER judge a perfect  God by imperfect men
  3. Have you ever been lied to when buying a house or a car?
  4. Did you find out that your business partners have been stealing from the company?
  5. Is there anyone you thought was your friend and then you heard they were talking about you?
  6. Have you ever thought your new job was gonna be one way and ended up being another
  7. Has anyone ever looked into your eyes and lied to your face?

How we break trust

It is extremely easy to look at broken trust from the offended side but lets also do it from us being the offender. Being untrustworthy is not just something they do it is something we do.  This exercise is very difficult to do because it takes great pains to look at self but lets ask ourselves a few questions as well.

  1. Have we ever told a little lie or just maybe stretched the truth to make us look better?
  2. Is there ever a time when you were not happy with a friend/bus partner/family member and instead of talking with them about it like Mathew 18 says, we just end up telling someone else. “just wanting to get off our chest” lol  aka GOSSIP
  3. Have you ever made a promise to anyone and didn’t keep it?  Promise making is one of the easiest things you could ever do and promise keeping is one of the most difficult.
  4. Have you ever written anything online without stating who exactly wrote it? Many things written online by faceless men cannot be trusted because trustworthy men have no need to remain anonymous unless there is partial truths being told. Charles Spurgeon wrote “a lie can travel around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes”
  5. Have you ever hid from creditors/family members/bus partners/church family because you thought by hiding you wouldn’t have to handle it.

When I was in school we had a big exam for algebra and I had a teacher that scared me to death.  He wasn’t mean, he just expected alot and didn’t pull any punches, which at that time in my life. scared me. The day of the exam that I hadn’t studied for, I… instead of showing up getting an F i just called in sick to school.  The next day back at school I was sheepish as I walked by that teacher and he could tell, sooo he stopped me and stated in a stern voice “NEWTON” if you would just study, you wouldn’t have to fake being sick”   HIDING is an UNTRUSTWORTHY ACT

Now,  I hope after asking all those questions to ourselves, we can see where ALL of us can work on this foundation to success in those 8 areas of FAITH-FAMILY-FINANCE-FITNESS-FRIENDSHIP-FREEDOM-FUN-FOLLOWING

“Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living, it is the beginning place, the foundation on which more can be built. Where trust is- love can flourish”  Barbara Smith

                                                      

People trust those who add value into there life with more deposits of selflessness than withdrawals of selfishness

Stephen Coveys “Emotional Bank Account” for Trust

Deposits-

  1. Seek first to understand
  2. keep promises
  3. honesty and openness
  4. kindness courtesies
  5. win win or no deal
  6. clarified expectations
  7. loyalty the absent
  8. apologies
  9. receiving feedback and giving “I” messaging
  10. forgiveness

Withdrawals

  1. Seek first to be understood
  2. break promises
  3. smooth manipulation
  4. unkindness, discourtesies
  5. win-lose
  6. violating expectations
  7. disloyalty
  8. pride, conceit, arrogance
  9. not receiving feedback and giving “you” messages
  10. holding grudges

Stephen Covey goes on to  say there our 3 common characteristics of the Deposits that we can learn from

  1. it will take initiative
  2. it will take an absence of selfishness and a presence of humility
  3. it will require sacrifice

There is much freedom in a disciplined life and if we are ready to be disciplined in any area being trustworthy is a great beginning spot.  I would like to thank Bill Newton and Jann Newton,  for being people of character that i can trust so i could see a wonderful example of this amazing principle.

god bless

cody

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“You cannot change Truth, but Truth can change you” MFC

“Methods are many,principles are few.methods always change,principles never do” is a quote I will never forget hearing at a conference I attended at 19 years old.  There is only one Truth for salvation and that is Jesus Christ and that Truth can be learned about by the infallible word of God , the Bible.  All good principles in day-to-day living also have their roots in the bible as well.  Fortunately for the last 4 years I was given the chance to learn about many principles that have changed my LIFE and  I thought today I would give a few ideas on resources for books etc that can help with great principles on topics such as character, purpose, attitude, programming, gameplanning,keeping score, family, friendship, financial management, leadership, conflict resolution, systems thinking,anxiety, depression, forgiveness, handling adversity, and legacy. These are some of my favorites for sure. Orrin Woodwards book “Resolved” has been the most influential on principles for me and Tim Marks book “Voyage of a Viking” is a biography I will never forget.    If anyone has any other great resources for great principles feel free to comment. god bless

 

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I also “of course” recommend the 90 Day Mental Fitness Challenge for a chance to have someone to be accountable to for growth!   www.90daymentalfitchallenge.com/

Cheers to Life Founder Orrin Woodward!!

A “Thank You” to the “Founder of Founders”          Great post Tim about a great man. Tara and I 100pct agree

                                   BY TIM MARKS

I was deeply humbled by the recent blog that Orrin posted regarding Amy and myself; humbled, because I owe so much of my success to the sacrifice and commitment of Orrin and Laurie Woodward. As all world-class leaders do, Orrin constantly shines light upon others and celebrates their success, lifting them up and cheering for their victories. Since Orrin has written this blog post celebrating me and Amy, we feel that it is only appropriate to return the favor.

Orrin Woodward grew up in Columbiaville, Michigan, a town where the word “vision” wasn’t something you’d hear pop up at the average dinner table. His brilliant mind and work ethic were quickly noticed by his superiors at work, and his amazing engineering genius resulted in four engineering patents to his name by the age of 25. He was on the fast track to corporate “success”. But he was eventually exposed to some new business information, and he decided to go against the grain. He ignored the 95% advice of his friends, family and co-workers, and he plunged head-first into his first entrepreneurial venture.

Success didn’t come easily to Orrin. We might watch him speak on stage today in front of thousands of people and forget that he failed a public speaking class in college. We might read the chapter on conflict resolution in his incredible book RESOLVED and puzzle that this great man describes his younger self as a “no-people skills engineer.” We might see the tens of thousands of people at a Major function and forget that he struggled for several years to build a business community past 200 people. And we might look at his lifestyle, his homes in Florida and Michigan, and his yacht, and not realize the massive battles that Orrin and Laurie have waged behind the scenes on our behalf.

Simply put, if it weren’t for Orrin and Laurie Woodward, there wouldn’t be any TEAM or the LIFE business, period. When we faced a battle against our former supplier, Orrin and Laurie bore the brunt of the attacks. I know that he has dipped into his own pocket for multiple seven-figures to cover legal expenses, possible only because he lives a debt-free lifestyle. I know that he has been the target of terrible lies and attacks on his character from nameless critics too cowardly to reveal their identity. I know that he and Laurie have put many of their personal dreams on hold, including denying themselves the building of their dream home in Florida for the last four years, in order that you and I may have a business to bring our own dreams to life.

Building this business, both TEAM and now LIFE, is not about the money for Orrin and Laurie. If it were, they would never have gone through all they’ve endured. They would have sat back and collected a check from our former supplier. But they would not. Orrin could have sailed off into the sunset as a motivational speaker and author, leaving us on our own. But he would not. Orrin and Laurie could have begun this great fight, buckled under the pressure and quit. But they would not. For Orrin and Laurie, building this business is about creating a community of a million people, of saving marriages, freeing people from financial bondage, and affecting our culture in a positive way.

I don’t personally know any other man who could have endured what Orrin has gone through and had the grit to stay the course. I’ve seen Orrin with tears in his eyes as we watched our friends suffer personally and financially. I’ve watched his heart break as people whom he had poured his love and energy into would fail to keep their commitments to him, only to see him think upon them with a forgiving heart, knowing that they are just fallen men, as he is. I’ve watched him suffer the sting of terrible lies, and because he holds his character so high he refuses to gossip about the liars. I know people who quite simply are telling lies about Orrin. If Orrin ever decides to go public with all that he knows (and can document) about these slanderous attacks, they will be embarrassingly exposed.

Like any man, Orrin has experienced moments where he has been down in the dumps. But he is an uncommon man, and because he has RESOLVED to have a high Adversity Quotient, he always gets back up and leads.

Orrin has been there for me countless times when I felt broken, praying with me in times of deep personal crisis. Laurie has done the same for Amy; as I was frantically criss-crossing the country during the height of our battle with our former supplier, Laurie was the bedrock friend and mentor that Amy needed in some of our darkest hours. Thank you, Laurie Woodward.

Most people have to go to the movies or read great books to be exposed to heroes. Amy and I are blessed to know some real-life heroes and count them among our best of friends for life. Orrin and Laurie Woodward, thank you for your leadership, your commitment, your pledge to serve and reach a million people. None of us would have anything if it weren’t for the sacrifice you’ve made for us.

Tim and Amy

When Fishermen Don’t Fish

The New Year is among us and I would love to wish everyone a Happy New Year!  I woke up this morning ready to “get stuff happenin”   The nervous tension inside was from an intense desire to perform and you can choose to use that tension to fuel self or Pound others . It seems in preparing to lead we sometimes end up hurting ourselves or others because of our own performance issues.   Max Lucado says this ” When those who are called upon to fish dont fish, they fight.  When energy intended to be used outside is used inside, the result is explosive.  Instead of casting nets, we cast stones.  Instead of extending our helping hands, we point accusing fingers”   In my leadership journey I know I have been the most explosive when I have actually not been proud of what I am doing. One of the greatest ways to know if we are truly others focused is to find out the root cause of our disappointments, Is it really about the situation or is IT Really about my own lack of performance? Shifting the blame of discouragement is the easy way out and the lesson will not be learned but internalizing and asking yourself what is the source of my internal battle is what real leaders do.  Tim Marks has worked with me since first mentoring with him too keep looking inside self to become a better leader  instead of outside self.

Lucado says in Chapter 3 ” Leave soldiers inside the barracks with no time on the front line and see what happens to their attitude. The soldiers will invent things to complain about. Bunks will be too hard. Food will be too cold. Leadership will be too tough. The Company will be too Stale.  Yet put those same soldiers in the trench ducking  bullets., and what was a boring barracks will seem like a haven. The beds will feel great. The food will be almost ideal. The leadership will be courageous. The company will be exciting.  When Those who are called to fish, fish— they flourish!  If you are called to Fish “lead” and you Fish then  2012 will be your  year and I cannot wait to hear your story! God Bless cody

    

Resolved to Change

A couple of days back I had another birthday and was able to celebrate it with my family and have been reading Resolved by Orrin Woodward, which has me wondering if I am really living a Resolved LIFE. Orrin writes about the resolutions of 3 great Americans Jonathon Edwards, Benjamin Franklin and George Washington. ” A man does not call a line crooked unless he has some idea of a straight line”.C.S. LewisMere Christianity  I guess the best part of the reading has been comparing my own squiggly line to these mens straight lines and desiring to be better.  32 is by no means old but I have now lost those years to do great.. and pray that the next 32 is a more RESOLVED LIFE.  Just when we think no one is watching how we live, out of the corner of our eye we see our  kids/spouse/family/friends/business partner/neighbors and more importantly our father in heaven watching to see how we choose to live. Today in the age     of “what you do in private is your business”, I am 100 pct convicted it might be just you and God that know, but it has ripples everywhere.    What a better gift to celebrate Jesus’s Birthday than to give your friends/family/self  a book about living by principles. God bless cody

RESOLVED by Orrin Woodward

Jonathon Edwards was, as Randall Stewart wrote, “Not only the greatest of all American theologians and philosophers but the greatest of our pre-19th century writers as well,” making his gracious humble spirit even more impressive.  He didn’t fight for his rights; instead he merely accepted the ruling as God’s Will, taking a position as missionary to the frontier Indians. Edwards consistently displayed a grace-filled spirit of forgiveness to his many detractors, some who, years later apologized for their involvement in the misinformation spread. Can one imagine the infamy of being associated with the congregation that dismissed one of the best theologians and philosophers in American history? But Edwards, in his final years, never missed a beat, writing several classics of Christian literature, leaving an enduring testament to the power of character-based resolutions to transform a person from the inside out. Edwards faithfully lived his principles externally because that is who he had become internally. Specifically, he didn’t just give lip service to his resolutions, he truly lived them.

The Father “FAMILY”

For sure God has put me on the planet to help boys become men and it seems the most important boys to help become men are my own first and then I can help others. One thing that I have tried to learn more about  in the last 7 yrs is being a Dad! “my oldest is 7!!” WOW IM Getting Old”. The Bible, my Church,  Life  materials, my dad, uncles and Tim Marks have all helped and all I can say is I have made many mistakes and made many memories… For sure one thing I know is that “it does matter”, and studys are backing up that fact. Listening to Josh McDowell I was totally convicted that I needed to become a better father and continue on the journey. Are you reading and listening to materials and individuals to help you become a better parent?? Here is a few of his statistics of fathering…

a.John Hopkins research of over 30 yrs shows the connection between the relationship between the  son and the father has to do with the amount of Hypertension- Tumors-Suicide-Coronary Heart Disease found in Patients!!

b. 300% to 500% higher percentage of suicide if your  son doesn’t have a relationship with his Dad

c..Study of all 15 school shooters shows

  1. all middle class and white
  2. all the father was absent, distant or not involved

Questions your son should answer YES too

  1. Son, Do you know I Love you??  “Love Cultivates the ground for excepting Gods Truth”  and “rules without relationship cause rebellion”
  2. Son, Do you know I love your Mother??
  3. Son, Do  you want to have a relationship with your kids and wife like I do?
  4. Son, Do you know how much I love JESUS

Vision,Faith and Purpose Driven Leadership

I met Hans a couple of years ago in his quest to grow, change and become all God meant for him to be in his LIFE. He and his wife are great students of the Life Leadership program and All Grace Outreach. We have discussed many things about the bible, leadership, family and finances.  We have discussed many issues that I learned prospective from my mentor Tim Marks, my dad and mentor Bill Newton, and my personal pastor, Kelly Randolph about what it takes to be a Bible centered Leader. After the learning process started he began the second stage, PERFORMING, and it scared him to death.  I have personally watched him face fear and keep moving.  Hans and Elly are a couple who I respect because of their convictions and more important,  because of their courage to move forward with their God-given convictions in the face of opposition and FEAR.  god bless Cody
   “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”– Eleanor Roosevelt
The thing that I have probably gotten most from the LIFE Team is a vision. As Andy Stanley would say, “a vision for what could be and should be.” To be more specific, a purpose. And actually, I didn’t get my purpose from LIFE; it just helped me discover my purpose and the fact that God had created me for a purpose. I’ve heard people say before, “God made me to be an engineer,” or “God made me to be a teacher,” or “God made me to be…[whatever].” I disagree. I believe that when God formed us in our mothers’ wombs, he fashioned us for a purpose, not an occupation. And before I was introduced to LIFE, I was not living for a purpose; I was just…living. As I believe Henry David Thoreau once said, “Most men die at the age of 25 and wait until the age of 65 to be buried.” That was me. Coincidentally enough, I was 25 when I saw the LIFE Team and I had become complacent in life. Most days, it was home to work, then work to home, and then an evening of the latest TV shows or movies with my wife (not exactly her idea of quality time).
The first book I read that gave me a sense of purpose was a book I received through our AGO series entitled The Principles and Power of Vision by Dr. Myles Munroe. This was an awesome book that made me realize my overall purpose—to lead people to Truth. The most recent book I read on purpose (no pun intended) was Visioneering by Andy Stanley. What an amazing book! A few things in particular stood out to me. He goes through a process to help one discover his or her purpose, but most importantly, to achieve a God-given purpose, he says one must have moral authority. Stanley says, “Moral authority is rooted in a desire to please God rather than man.” It is doing what’s right because it’s right and not even just for the sake of leadership or influence. Have moral authority in all your relationships, beginning in the home (which is a big one I’m still learning). “Moral authority is the overflow of character, not leadership ability.” So devote yourselves to what is right (Philippians 4:8). “There will always be people who won’t believe what you believe. But don’t give them grounds to doubt that you believe what you claim to believe.” Stanley says this is also extremely important because on the road to accomplishing your purpose, you will meet opposition. And if you’re like me, moving forward in the face of opposition does not come easily. But it is through LIFE that I have learned to act with courage rather than cowardice—not all the time, mind you. But as Bill Lewis said on a recent leadership audio, “sometimes, courage is the little voice at the end of the days that says, ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.’” What I pray every day is that I’ll grow in my courage to live fully committed to my God and purpose. “An audience can disagree with a position, but they can’t disagree with the reality of a conviction lived out.” Were it not for LIFE and the mentorship of Cody and Tara Newton, I don’t know exactly where Elly and I would be, but I imagine we’d be in a bad place getting worse. Today, I’m nowhere near fulfilling the vision God has placed in my heart. I still have a ton of growing to do and I certainly don’t claim to have perfectly applied all the principles above, but I do believe I’m on the narrow path. Thanks be to God for rescuing me and for the grace He gives me on a daily basis that I still have breath to move towards accomplishing what he planned for me before time began. “Everybody ends up somewhere in life. You have the opportunity to end up somewhere on purpose” (Stanley).
 Hans 
“Missions exists because worship doesn’t”
-John Piper, in Let the Nations Be Glad